Comment Wall
Introduction
Hello, My name is Madison, but I also go by Madi. I am studying Criminology at the University of Oklahoma and I am on track to graduate in May 2019. I took twenty hours during the last spring semester and I am happy to share that I got all A's. One of the most interesting classes I have had for my major is an internship over this last summer. I interned at Mabel Basset Correctional Center, a women's prison in McLoud, Oklahoma. As awesome as that sounds, it was also very mentally and emotionally draining. Sometimes, I like to think that I would enjoy working as a Case Manager there, but I also believe it would wear me and my family down because there is never a dull moment and there are times when it can get pretty hostile. On a lighter note, I live in Norman with my three cats: Todd, Tater-Tot, and Poe. I work at the Law Office of Paula K. Sullivan as an assistant. This job is great because I am thinking about going to law school after I graduate if I do not go for a Ma
Hi Madi!
ReplyDeleteSo I am slightly confused on Klepto's tactics with Prince Octopian. Did Klepto raise him as a son or is he a servant? Also did she swap him with one of her own children? If so why did she do this? I know that it was partly out of revenge for waking her up while she was sleeping, but why swap one of her children for that of the Prince? When you say "still witty enough to give an obscure answer." Did something happening to Klepto? Is she dying? I am interested in reading what happens next in your story. I also like the use of the Octopus images, but I can see it being slight confusing since the prince's name is Octopian. I see a resemblance between another story (Tangled) about the party happening every year, is the party in celebration for the stolen child in hopes that he will come home? Or is it just coincidental?
Hello Madi!
ReplyDeleteReading through your story, I found it difficult to follow parts of the story. I would love to get more details of the party in general. The premise is very unique and interesting, but I keep getting lost in key parts of the plot. I also find the idea of a kidnapping at a party to be very enticing to the reader, if you haven't seen Hercules or Tangled (both Disney films), check them out! They are very similar to the story you are writing. I also really liked the images you brought into the story, they helped me get a feel for the mood and I enjoyed the imagery aid. One thing that you may need to work on is the ending to this story as I felt that it lacked closure. I finished the story wanting more from it (which is not a bad thing at all). Overall, I think the word choices are good and that there is a lot of material you have to work with!
Hey Madi!
ReplyDeleteI really like your images and page layout. I can tell that you put way more effort in it than I ever did! The images really fit well with the story because they are embedded. I wonder why there was a party in the kingdom every year. Octopian wasn't there anymore, so what was the reason that they partied? It's also never stated why the mother of Octopian never screamed for her child. Could it be that they were never there for Octopian, but only to have a big party? If so, maybe include it in the author's note. Also, it says that Klepto was from the Puerto Rico Trench. However, the kingdom was off the coast of Ireland, so I wonder how Klepto went to the kingdom so easily. Also, how did Klepto hear the noise of the party all the way from Ireland? Overall, I really enjoyed your story and I like your page format!
Hi Madi!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I really like how you did your website and the layout of your story! It was pleasing to the eye and appealing! I didn't read the original story and couldn't find your author's note, so I was a little confused on where your changes were versus the original story. I couldn't tell if the author's note was the home page or not.
I think it would be great for your story if you went into more detail about the characters, especially Klepto. For example, why was she filled with so much rage and why did she feel such a great urge to steal their merchild? I also think the story had great parts, but they didn't really flow together cohesively. I think with some more details and background info, it would make more sense! I also liked how your version of the story reminded me of somewhat of a Cinderalla/Tangled combination.
Hi Madi! I was immediately blown away by the layout of your website! All of the images and the background textures were really cool to look at and caught my eye. I automatically knew that it was going to be about sea creatures and take place in the ocean, which is awesome. I definitely get some Rapunzel vibes from this story, and I really love it. I think it’s unique to make this story take place underwater, especially with merpeople. The ending leaves you hanging, and I really want to read more!
ReplyDeleteI wish there was a little bit more dialogue, like when you said “A baby” she whispered.” I think giving the characters dialogue makes them a bit more realistic and relatable, especially for a giant evil octopus! The whole concept of your website is very well put together, and I’m excited to see where it goes. Good job!
Hello Madi,
ReplyDeleteI loved your story introduction. You wrote a very well thought out story. I also loved how you set up your lay out for the story. It no just one long page of story. I love how you made it to where you made the story flow in columns and added pictures throughout. This Gave me the feeling that the story was not just some words on a page I am reading but a story I am able to follow. Something that stand out to me was at the end of the first paragraph/part you said food, and booze, and gifts. For this sentence all you need to say is food, booze, and gifts. You don’t need the extra and in the sentence. Even if this is grammatically OK, which I don’t think it is, it reads better without the extra and. Otherwise I think you did really well for your into of the project.
Hello Madi! What a cool looking website! I love the colors and the images! The image of the Mermother and her child really remind me of the mermaids from the Harry Potter movies! Your introduction was great. I thought it was very well written and flowed well. I also really like the way you broke it into several smaller paragraphs with new images made it seem very easy to read. The entire theme of this site is really well put together. From the images to the color choices to the backgrounds, I think you did a really good job of setting the scene for the rest of your story book. I am really excited to see where this goes and how you continue to use this site to tell you story. Great job! Can't wait to see where this storybook goes!
ReplyDeleteHey there Madi! I love the structure and layout of your story. It provides so much visualization to the underwater sea theme and I wish my layout was as creative as yours! I felt like I could reach each line like I was spitting out bubbles with each word. I even had the idea of water flooded ears as I read. Very well done on capturing your audience with the setting! One of the confusing parts for me going into your story was the home page. I like that you provided a sort of character bio chart that would help us get a better idea as to who the characters are, but there was no context before those things and I thought I was getting into the story until I noticed the abrupt separation and shorter passages. If you could give a bit more information on the page as to what you're getting into when you first open the link, I think it would help the readers start off strong on your project. I can't wait to read more and see what happens!
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteFirst I wanted to mention how I liked the layout of your pages and how it allowed you to add more images and stuff like that. I also liked how you would emphasize the dialogue by making the text larger and separate from the rest of the paragraph. When I was reading the first story, I was wondering what kind of creatures each of the characters were, since there's not a lot of description about their physical appearance. The characters page clears this up, but I think it would be nice to have some information about the characters' physical appearances in the story as well, just to make it easier to visualize the story without having to go to a separate page first. Otherwise, I enjoyed reading your stories and am curious about what happens when Octopian returns home and we find out why his parents were seemingly never upset that he was stolen.
I think that your storybook is great! The introduction really helped me understand what to expect from your stories later on. Throughout the introduction, it seems as if there is different usage of tenses. I think that changing this up would make the introduction a little clearer. The ending of the introduction really makes me want to read the rest of it! The way you wrote your stories definitely draws in the reader to want more and more. I really like the way that your Storybook looks. It is aesthetically pleasant and adds to the story. Is there a reason why you chose to include a gif? I think that it looks great, but it is a little distracting when reading the paragraph that is over the octopus. Maybe you could switch the octopus gif with the mermaid at the top. Just a suggestion! This was a really great storybook. It is definitely one of my favorites and I plan to come back!
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah! I am honestly so impressed by your story book. On one hand the story is great all by itself, and then your site is just so creative. I loved all of the background photos you included, especially the moving ones. What a great job! As for constructive feedback I think that you could probably remove the overt labeling of the objects that Octopian is gathering as he goes. Granted you may have some specific plan in mind that makes highlighting them important, in which case go for it! Otherwise it is just a little overt and breaks the suspension of disbelief for the reader. I really liked how you developed Klepto’s character over the stories. I thought we might get to see her turn over a new leaf but exposing her overriding self-interest was a great choice. It really made her a villain you hate. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of your stories as we finish up the semester.
ReplyDeleteHi Hannah!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE how pretty your site is! Your graphics and layout are delightful. The formatting is beautiful, and it looks so polished and cheerful. The introduction you've written is perfect, and your underwater inspiration was a great choice. I liked that each story is roughly outlined, and enough background is provided to really enjoy each of the stories without giving too much away.
The story thus far, ending with Octopian's Escape, really makes me wonder just how attached Klepto became to Octopian. Her words are soothing and filled with love, but I'm guessing her actions don't match as Octopian has no qualms with ending her life. I know she's the bad guy, but I kind of feel sorry for her anyways, which surprised me. There's a really nice... DEPTH... of character here (sorry I couldn't resist) in your antagonist which is almost mirrored by Octopian's anger and adrenaline, making me wonder whether he's actually a hero or not.
I am also strongly reminded of the nature vs. nurture debate. How much of Octopian grew in response to being raised by Klepto, and how much of Octopian's heritatge is left within him? And what of the child left in his place? I seriously wonder whether Octopian's parents even noticed as the child grew up. Hopefully all of that will be in the next story, because I really want to know!
Awesome site, great background information, and a really compelling story! Great job!
Hi Madi! I think having a link to your comment wall from your home page is so convenient! I thought your introduction was so informative. You gave a good background on how you got your ideas for the stories, and a good background on your character, Octopian. I think providing details for Octopian will make reading the stories more entertaining. I liked that you included your author’s note on a separate page. Having moving illustrations was unique and added to the tone of your story, but I have to admit going from stationary to moving images was a little distracting while reading. Aside from having the author’s note in its own area, you also included a link to character descriptions. I have not seen this on any other story project, so I have to say it is very unique and adds to the detail and clarity of your stories! Really great job!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I love all the photos you have used in your stories, especially the animated ones! You have a really good intro that gives a lot of info about what is to come and shows all the thought you have put into your storybook. I love the whole feel of the storybook because it really helps add to the underwater quality of things. I like that you have a separate character page. While all the author's notes on one page is a unique idea, I think it would also be helpful to copy/paste them onto the page itself so that a person doesn't have to go back & forth between pages if they don't want to. But you've done a really good job with the project and I love the versions of the stories that you've written.
ReplyDeleteHello Madi!
ReplyDeleteYou did an amazing job with your page layout. It is very easy to navigate. I enjoyed the pictures you used. They almost seem Three-D. They also go perfect with the stories. Also, I would have never thought about using a completely different section for the Authors note. It is a good idea. However, I do think it is easier to have it at the end of each story because it is easier to go ahead and read it after we read the story. Some people might not read the authors note because it is not under the story.
The was you wrote your stories was great. Some of the stories that I have read in this class does not completely connect to each other. I think your stories are a great example of connecting stories together. I really liked the way you developed Klepto's character throughout the stories.
Hi Madi! I just read through the introduction and first story, The Abduction, from your storybook. I first want to mention how fitting the design and layout of your project site is. As you said you were going for an underwater setting and feel for your story, I think your website fits that perfect with colors and images you used. The moving water image on your intro page is a really nice touch as well. I found your introduction to be very informative as well, which I appreciate since that is quite helpful for my understanding of the rest of the stories. I really liked the way your first story was written. The description and dialogue made it easy to know what was going on and also be able to visualize everything. I thought your writing was great overall. I really enjoyed what I read from your storybook and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHey Madi!
ReplyDeleteI love the ocean gif in the background of the introduction! It sets the tone of the story perfectly. I also liked that you walked us through the inspiration and gave us the background to the stories in your introduction. Klepto was such a well written character, even though it was wrong, I could relate to her motivations in the Abduction story. I did not see the end of Octopian’s Escape coming! I know it had to happen, but I was a little sad for Klepto. I have always liked the story of Rumpelstiltskin, so I loved Cnidaria. I think you did a good job coming up with a character that challenged Octopian while also moving the plot along and getting him closer to the castle. This story was a lot darker than I was expecting, but I think it works really well. The ocean is a harsh place, so why would the stories from there be any different? I really enjoyed your storybook and I can’t wait to read the last story!
Hey Madi,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your cat picture is great and the best comment wall picture I have seen. Todd looks like a baller and I wish I could party with him. On to your storybook, I am so impressed! It was so great and I really enjoyed getting into the underworld story. It is so creative to base it on Rapunzel but flip it underwater. One thing that I would change is that the switching back and forth from different sizes of font, different color of font, and different background was kind of distracting. I understand what you were trying to make your site exciting and fit your theme but as a reader it seemed a little busy at times. Maybe you could do it in bigger chunks so that it does not seem like every other sentence is a different theme. I just think it would be easier on the audience. Great job though!!!
Hi Madi!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction had me hooked from the very beginning. I love a suspenseful story and that is exactly what you did here. I love how you based the story on rapunzel but did a complete twist on it in your own way. The way you made Klepto come to life in your stores was great. Your use of dialogue was great and i felt like i really got to know your characters and their different personalities. All the different photos you used throughout your stories was great and it helped me navigate through the story. your layout of your site was great and was super easy to use. Overall your story is awesome and i really enjoyed reading it. Great job, good luck with finals and the rest of your semester!
Hi Madi! First off, I have to say that I have really enjoyed reading through all of your stories and looking at your project as a whole. I think you have a great idea for your project and you have been doing a great job with following that through with your writing. I absolutely loved the story based on Rapunzel as Tangled is one of my favorite Disney movies. I think you did a wonderful job with the introduction to get your readers interested in the story, and I love the use of dialog throughout. I also really liked the use of all of the different photos throughout the story, and I think it really helped me as a reader to follow along while also being able to get a visual representation of what was happening. Overall, I think you have done a wonderful job with your project. Good luck with your finals and the rest of your semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Madi,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that I've had this chance to return to your project. I think the last time I read your project, it ended at The Abduction (or was it Octopian's Escape?), but now I finally get a chance to see how the story ends. I'm not really sure what kind of feedback I can give you that will be useful, especially since the class is pretty much over at this point, so I guess I'll just mention some things that I liked about your project. I really appreciated the links you included to things like the "sole" in the Cnidaria story. Related to "sole", I also enjoyed all of the aquatic puns that you included in your stories. It really made them much more fun to read. Overall, I thought your stories were great and I really enjoyed seeing your project again.
It’s arduous to find educated folks on this subject, however you sound like you understand what you’re speaking about! Thanks online casinos for us players
ReplyDelete